I still remember the exact date when I first stepped into the gym, 1st April, 2019, the day I chose to bring in the change I always wanted for myself.
Being brutally honest with myself, I can assure you people, I was in a bad state and I am not only refering to my physical health but also talking in terms of mental health and my state of mind. I was broken and needed a ‘just me time’ to collect all my pieces together. Exercising, for me was my ‘me time’, the only time where I can talk to myself, let my anger, disappointment and fear drive me through the workout and let go of all the negativity and negative thoughts in the gym itself.
I was always someone who loved playing out. I loved playing Cricket but I couldn’t continue playing when I went into a coaching institute for preparing for my JEE exams. I used to stay in a hostel, there was no playground for students, we had our classes from 7.00 am to 4.30 pm, 6 days a week, added with them are tons of assignments that are to be completed before the next day itself and to make it worse I always had some backlog from the previous classes to add in some extra pressure. So, this is how things started to get ugly but it became worse once my grades started degrading, from being in the top 10 of the batch, I went down as low as last 30 of a batch of 120. I was quite stressed about my grades, I worked harder every single time but couldn’t bet the stocking piles of backlog and with added backlog, my grades further went down. I developed an eating disorder, I ate my way to happiness, feeding to a point where I can eat no more. Pizzas, Burgers, Milkshakes, Cookies, Fries, Snacks and what not. My weight continuously went up from 75 kgs to 98 kgs by the time of departure from the institute. At this point, I hated myself. I hated the way I looked, I hated the way I feel. Even climbing up stairs was a challenge. I remember being out of breath when I was dragging myself up, taking little steps at a time to reach the 2nd Floor, walking like a Grandpa. This was the time, I knew I have fucked up and wanted to fix it all again. I strongly decided to loose my weight, no matter what comes in my way.
As I said before, I joined the gym. I did intermittent fasting, ate in a huge caloric deficit(which I recommend to no one and still regret doing it). My weight went down fast, I was happy with the scale going down every week I measured my weight. 2 months into the journey, I love the results and the changes were vivid and visible. My size went down from xL to L in just 3 months.
I have made some majors mistakes when it comes to my personal fitness journey, one of them is losing weight fast. I lost weight but not all of it was fat. It was fat, water and muscle mass together, but I personally think it doesn’t matter. What really matters is I found myself back, I regained my confidence and most importantly I loved the journey even if, it was a bit rough. I used all of my negative thoughts, my agression and my fear to drive myself through the workouts, burning it all in the gym itself and honestly, I still believe fitness is my mantra to stay positive and to fight with my demons even in this present time.
I hope my story motivates you.
It’s truly never late to start. let’s start today to make ourselves fit with every passing day. Join me in my fitness journey and we will be growing together from this day.
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